Beautifully Unbroken
by taragraceknowles
Summary: Jax is the bad boy of Charming, heir to the Sons of Anarchy. Tara is the quiet, smart girl. Both have lost a parent and both have lived more life then they should have in their short sixteen years. Jax and Tara's early days.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so I have just finished the seventh season of Sons of Anarchy and all I can say is "wow". The amazing writing is seriously out of this world and the kind of storytelling that I hope to accomplish one day as a writer. I wanted to give my own spin on the Jax and Tara love story. There's so many things we don't know about their beginnings. Keep in mind the "fiction" in fanfiction. This is purely a re-interpretation. Any negativity will not be welcome. Thank you. :)**

 **DISCLAIMER:**  
 **I own nothing. All characters and names belong to creator, Kurt Sutter and FX Network.**

6:45 AM  
Tara woke to her alarm and the beginnings of another sure to be sunny day in Charming, California. Tara remembered her mom used to love days like today. She'd pack a lunch and they'd all just drive, find a park somewhere, have a picnic and just be together. It was those spontaneous moments that Tara missed lately. It was just a little over six years since her mom had lost her battle with cancer and she could still feel it like it happened yesterday.

 _Six years ago..._

 _"Sweetheart, um...I'm so sorry."_

 _"Mom died, didn't she?" Nine year old, Tara Knowles asked her father, already knowing the answer._

 _"I'm sorry, baby."_

 _The days that followed included an endless string of black clothing, casseroles and apologies that sounded so rehearsed that she stopped hearing them. She stood in the living room that used to hold her mother's laughter and light, staring at her shoes._

 _"I'm so sorry for your loss, baby." She heard a voice say._

 _She looked up, meeting eyes with Gemma Teller. Everyone knew the Tellers. Gemma, John and their son, Jackson or Jax, as he recently like to be called. John Teller was president of the notorious Sons of Anarchy motorcycle club and Gemma served as his old lady. If ever there were a power couple in Charming, it was the Tellers. Jax was her age, just a few months older. He was a rambunctious kid and always ran around with Opie Winston, another son of a Son. Tara's dad had known Piney Winston for years and so she and Opie always found themselves around each other and Jax by association. Both the Tellers and Winstons had made sure that they were present for this occasion._

 _"I want you to make sure that you eat tonight, okay?" Gemma told her, pointing to the three covered dishes she had placed on the dining room table._

 _Tara tugged at the sleeve of her black cardigan, pulling it over her hand. "My mom did the cooking."_

 _"I know, baby."_

 _"I'm not really hungry. Thank you." She stated, meek but polite._

 _"Promise me you'll eat."_

 _Tara stared at the carpet._

 _"Tara..." Gemma gave her a knowing look._

 _"Yes, Mrs. Teller." She nodded. "I promise."_

 _"Good girl." With a kiss on the cheek, she moved on to Tara's father._

 _Tara looked up, catching a glimpse of Jax in the corner, fidgeting with the tie that his mom had most likely forced him to wear. The three kids had been drifting recently, Tara knew that they were probably just growing up and so she didn't think on it too much. Jax smiled at her, small but noticeable, almost saying "I'm here"._

The alarm rang for a second time, jolting Tara from her thoughts. She dragged herself from her bed and made her way to her closet, selecting another plain outfit, not unlike the ones she wore every other day. She selected a fitted grey tshirt, jeans, a hooded sweater and her black high tops. After dressing, she went into the kitchen and poured herself the last of the orange juice, finishing it in a couple sips. She grabbed her bag and headed for the door.

"Mmm...Tara?"

"Yeah. I'm just heading to school, Dad. Go back to sleep."

"You don't have school." He mumbled. "You got out for summer."

"It's September, Dad." This was happening more and more. Sam Knowles had been spending a lot of time at the local bar, finding his solace at the bottom of a liquor bottle. Tara was lucky that he remembered where the couch was, so she knew knowing the date was too much to ask. "There's some bread and stuff in the kitchen, just make yourself a sandwich for lunch and I promise, I'll be back by 5:00 to make dinner, okay?"

He grunted in response. With a sigh, Tara was on her way. Charming High was just like any other high school in small town America. Tara walked in, keeping to herself and glancing at the floor frequently as she walked. She was anxious to get to her first class of the semester. Biology. Science relaxed her, gave her peace. She found the room with ease and quickly took a seat in the second row to the back. She really didn't like the back, but didn't wanna be front row center either.

"Alright, settle down." She looked up at her teacher. "I'm Mr. Cooper and this is Biology, so pay attention. I really don't like repeating myself. So, we are going to jump right into it with a pop quiz on last year's material."

He earned a groan from the class in response.

"I promise, you're going to live." He laughed. "No cheating, guys."

The classroom door opened and slammed shut, causing Tara to look up.

"Ah, Mr. Teller." Mr. Cooper stated. "So glad you could grace us with your presence. I know you're so very busy."

"Not a problem, Coop." Jax smirked.

"Mr. Cooper." He corrected. "Now, cut the charm and take a seat."

He headed to the back of the room, sitting next to his partner in crime, Opie Winston. In the years since Tara's mom passed away, the boy who once smiled at her in her living room turned into a man who couldn't pass for the same person. Jax had began getting into trouble. Anything and everything from petty theft to underage drinking and skipping class. Tara thought it had to do with the death of his father.

Everyone knew about the death of John Teller. The word was that he crashed his Harley into a semi-truck and was dragged. He lived a couple more days in the hospital before he succumbed to his injuries. It didn't take a genius to see that it hit Jax especially hard. He had also devoloped a reputation as somewhat of a ladies' man and wasn't shy about flirting at all. Tara knew better though, Jax Teller was strictly the "love 'em and leave 'em" type.

"Alright, so after we get an idea of where you're at, I'm gonna be assigning lab partners. So, don't get comfortable with where you're sitting because alot of you are about to move." Mr. Cooper told the class.

 _45 minutes later..._

"Okay, Mr. Winston, you'll be partnered with...David Hale."

Jax snickered while Opie sighed, grabbed his book and moved next to David at the front of the class. It was no secret that the Sons didn't care for the Hales. David and his older brother Jacob were the sons of Judge Hale, who had been responsible for a lot of the past charges brought up against the Sons of Anarchy.

"Jackson Teller."

"Yeah?" He replied.

"You're with Ms. Knowles." Tara looked up at the sound of her name. She had no idea why she was terrified. She knew Jax was not the bookworm type. She'd have to work twice as hard to keep up.

Jax took the seat next to her and Tara caught a whiff of his scent. Smoke, motor oil and a hint of cologne. It was disgusting but intriguing at the same time.

"Hey, darlin'." He greeted, giving her his trademark, Jax Teller, half grin.

"Hey." She said softly, clearing her throat. "So, I was thinking we could assign the outline for the chapter."

"Whatever you say." Jax winked at her and she immediately felt the need to avoid his gaze. His eyes could make any girl weak in the knees.

 _Seven hours later..._

The day had been a rough one and Tara needed to talk to the one person who could make it all better. She had stumbled her way through the rest of the day and managed to make only one enemy.

 _Tara grabbed her calculus book and slammed her locker door shut, turning around in a hurry. She was late...on the first day. Crap. She was prepared to run when she slammed right into a tall, skinny redhead._

 _"Oh!" She cried, falling to the ground, dropping her books and notes. "Shit."_

 _"Whoa!" The redhead responded. "Watch where you're going, bitch."_

 _"I'm really sorry." Tara tried._

 _"Whatever." She laughed as Tara picked up her stuff. "Pathetic much?"_

Tara walked through the gates that read Charming Cemetary. She made a habit of talking to her mom when things were particularly rough for her and she really need that relief today. She walked to the edge that held her mother's headstone, setting her bag down and taking a seat, leaning back against the large oak tree. She stared at the piece of concrete that had her mother's name etched in it: Laura Elizabeth Knowles, loving wife and mother.

"Hey, Mom." She spoke, pulling her sweater sleeves over her hands, a habit that hadn't really changed. "I hope you're doing okay...wherever you are. Daddy and I are getting by." She sighed. "How did you do it? Take care of us so well? Because, Mom, I'm trying, but I can't quite get it right." Tara began to tear up. "I tried to make your peach cobbler yesterday...I butchered it. I can't remember what the secret ingredient was and you left before you got a chance to tell me." She looked up, as if asking for some kind of sign that her mom could actually hear her. "It's rough, Mom. I'm trying to stay strong but I think I'm starting to buckle. I need you...I miss you so much." She wiped away a stray tear. "Anyway...I'm thinking of going into medicine. I want to save lives. I want to make you proud."

Tara looked down at her watch, 4:45. "Shit."

She began to run to the nearest exit when she caught a glimpse of another visitor. Here he was, doing the same thing she was.

"I miss you, old man." She heard Jax say as she quietly approached.

"Hey." She said, lightly.

"Hey, Knowles." He greeted back. They stood in silence for a few minutes, listening to the birds.

"I'm sorry about your dad." She finally spoke.

"It's fine."

"No, I realized that I never actually gave you my condolences." She looked him in the eye. "I'm sorry, Jax."

"Thanks, Tara." He smiled. Not a flirtatious smirk, but a geniuine smile.

The pair found themselves in silence again before Tara broke it again by clearing her throat. "I should get home. I promised my dad that I'd be home for dinner."

"Sure." Jax nodded.

"Hey, Tara." He called, causing her to turn around. "You should smile more."

"What?"

"Your smile. It's beautiful."

"How would you know that, Teller?" She scoffed.

"We grew up together, Tara." Jax put his hands in his jeans pockets. "I know you better than you think."

Tara knocked on her dad's bedroom door as she opened it. "Dad, dinner's...ready."

She sighed, walking over and picking up the empty vodka bottle by the bed where her father lay passed out. Turning off the light, she closed the bedroom door and began wrapping the chicken she had baked to go into the refrigerator. She was wiping the counter when she heard a light knock on the door.

"What're you doing here?" Tara asked.

"You dropped this...at the cemetary." Jax held out a necklace, one Tara wore everywhere. It had belonged to her mother and she cherished it more than anything she owned.

Her hand immediately flew to her neck. "Oh my...thank you!"

"No problem." He smiled as he handed it over. "I thought you might freak if you noticed it gone so I thought I'd bring it over tonight instead of waiting until tomorrow."

She smiled. "Thank you, Jax. Really."

"See?" He smiled back.

"What?" Tara asked, suddenly self-conscious.

"Your smile. I told you it was beautiful."

Tara looked at the ground, shifting in her stance.

"I'll see you in class tomorrow?" Jax asked.

"Um...yeah. Tomorrow." She answered.

"Goodnight, Tara."

"Goodnight, Jax."

 _"Uh-oh."_ Tara thought to herself. _"What the hell just happened?"_

 **Okay. This was really, really fun to write. I like starting out with the characters this young, because there's honestly so many directions you can take the story in. The possibilities are endless. Please be kind if you choose to review because I don't have a whole lot of experience in this kind of thing. I hope you enjoyed. Thanks, guys. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I couldn't really wait very long to get to work on the new chapter so I really do hope that people are liking this story because, I honestly don't know as I type this. I just have to say that the work done by Charlie Hunnam, Maggie Siff and Katey Sagal are amazing and leave me speechless. Truly beautiful work. I promise not to make this piece very long so that I can get to the story. Thanks for taking the time to read. :)**

 **DISCLAIMER:**  
 **All characters belong to Kurt Sutter and FX Network.**

Friday had arrived quicker than Tara had realized, leaving her wondering where her week had gone. After sleeping through her alarm, she quickly dressed herself, grabbing whatever was closest. She tossed her hair into a messy bun and sprinted out of the house. Reaching her locker, she rushed to grab her biology and spanish books before turning to run to first period.

"Ms. Knowles." Mr. Cooper sternly said as she slowly closed the door behind her, trying not to cause more of a disturbance than she already had. "You're late."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cooper." She looked down as she hurried to her seat.

"Just follow along until you get caught up." She nodded in reply.

Jax smirked, watching her fumble to get everything ready for the notes she needed to take. "Tara Knowles is late?"

She sighed. "Overslept."

"Wow." He grinned. "I didn't think you had it in you."

"Ha. Ha." She rolled her eyes. "You're so very funny."

"Okay. Who wants to tell me the stages of mitosis...in order?" Mr. Cooper asked.

Tara raised her hand and began. "Interphase, prophase, metaphase, anaphase and telophase."

"Thank you, Ms. Knowles."

"Wow, you're really good at this stuff." Jax was impressed.

She chuckled. "I like science." He just grinned as she continued. "I know what you're thinking...'nerd'."

"Nah." He shook his head. "I was just thinking that you could probably help me out sometime."

"Oh, I don't know."

"Come on. Gemma's been riding my ass about this damn class and if I could just get through the next couple of tests, make her see that I'm not a complete dumbass, maybe she'll ease up on me." Jax pleaded.

She sighed. "Meet me at the park after school and we'll try it out."

"Thank you, Tara."

"If you waste my time, Teller, then I'm done." She looked at him sternly.

"Yes, ma'am."

 _After school..._

Tara sat at a picnic table, highlighting things in her book. She stopped for a moment to let her hair down and went right back to what she was reading. As Jax approached, he found himself suddenly aware of how pretty she was. He'd never really looked at her that way before, but for some reason, he noticed that she wasn't awkward little Tara anymore. He could see the bits of red in the hair she had finally let down as it glistened in the sunlight. He wasn't blind; she was a gorgeous girl. He swung a leg over to sit on the seat across from her.

"Hey there, teach." He gave her that half smirk as he winked at her.

"I've been waiting half an hour, Jax."

"I know. I'm sorry. I, uh...I got caught up with something." He looked back toward the Charming High parking lot.

"The blonde or the redhead this time?" She asked without looking up.

"What?"

"Come on, Jax." She looked at him, knowingly. "I may look down alot but I'm aware of the hoards of girls all over your every move."

He just chuckled. "I'm here with you, darlin'."

"My dad will be so proud." Tara rolled her eyes. Jax Teller was very aware of the hold he held on women and therefore, come off extremely full of himself. "Open your book."

 _An hour later..._

"Hey, Tara, thanks again for this." Jax told her, closing his textbook. "When you explain this shit, I don't feel so stupid."

"You're not stupid, Jax." She told him. "You're just...distracted."

"I guess." He looked down, before looking back at her. Her skin looked so delicate, her lips were full and her eyes captivated him. "Hey, what're you doin' tonight?"

Tara laughed. "Um...probably dinner, studying and sleep. It's kind of a rarity in my house." Her dad was pretty loud when he stumbled home in the middle of the night. Tara took that as her cue to get up and make sure that he had landed on his bed and not the floor.

"We're having a party at Piney's cabin. You should come."

"Piney's letting Opie have a party?" She raised her eyebrow in suspicion.

"He's with the club in Nevada." Jax clarified. "So...will you come?"

"I don't know." She shook her head. "It's not really my scene."

"Please?" He gave her the worst fake pout she'd ever seen, causing her to laugh and Jax to smile in return.

"Fine." She caved. "If I can get out of the house then I'll drop by."

"Good." He got up and walked away from her, calling back to her. "I'll see you tonight, Knowles!"

 _Later that night..._

Tara stood in front of her mirror, staring at herself and realizing that she was not dressed for a party, but more for a really exciting study session. She pulled her sweater sleeves over her hands and reminded herself what a bad idea this was. What was she thinking? Her and Jax Teller? It would never happen but the last few days she had been giving herself the idea that she could possibly have a chance; the smiles, the way he'd wink at her, how nice he was. Then again, didn't he do that with every girl. She pulled her hair back, then dropped it back down, pulled it back again before letting it fall again and stay there.

"Stop this." She told herself. "Just go and if it sucks then you'll bail."

"Hey, man, you seen Tara?" Jax asked Opie as the party picked up energy. The cabin was full of girls trying to get either boy's attention and half of the school who had caught word of the festivities and showed up anyway.

"Tara?" Opie looked genuinely confused.

"What are you, doin', man?"

"What do you mean?"

"Tara? She's not one for this kind of shit." Opie reminded him.

"Shut up. I wanted to invite her, so I invited her." Jax reasoned.

"You think you're gonna get in those tight jeans of hers and I cant tell you that you're not." Opie laughed, taking a swig of his beer.

"Tara's different." Jax defended.

"Oh, is she?"

"Yeah, I like talking to her." He looked down. "I don't want to get in her jeans."

 _Meanwhile..._

Tara walked past the crowd that had accumulated in front of the cabin and squeezed through the front door, looking for any face she might recognize.

"Well, well..." She heard a female voice behind her. "If it's not the little bitch who can't look where she's going."

She looked at the redhead who was now standing in front of her.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was invited." Tara shot back.

"Oh yeah?" She scoffed. "Well, I'm uninviting you. We don't want you here. Look at you."

Tara glanced down at her jeans and Converse and then at all the other girls. She definitely stuck out.

"A friend invited me." Tara stuck to her guns.

"Oh, Jax?" She chuckled as another girl joined her. "I think he's got enough to keep him occupied."

"I'm sure." She replied, trying to move past the two girls.

"I said, leave!" The redhead blocked her again. The blonde next to her adding a "Yeah."

"There you are." Jax suddenly appeared. "I've been looking for you everywhere."

"Little bitch." She heard the girl snicker, causing Jax to turn.

"Don't you have a dick to suck?" He snapped.

She scoffed before looking at her friend and said,"Let's go."

Tara looked down at her shoes. "Thanks."

"No problem. I'm sorry about that."

"Look, I really shouldn't be here." She shook her head. "I'm just gonna go."

"Please don't." He tried to stop her. "Come on, one drink...and if you still wanna leave, I'll walk you home."

"One drink."

Jax and Tara sat at the empty lawn table in the Winston's backyard, the party raging behind them. Jax had brought them each a beer. Tara had only a couple experiences drinking and didn't make a habit out of it. After seeing what it had done to her dad, she wasn't too fond of the after effects of alcohol. She took a sip and let the cool liquid flow down her throat.

"Yeah." Tara continued the story she was telling. "Cancer got her about six months later."

"I'm really sorry." He was genuine, sweet even.

She smiled at him. "Thanks. It hits my dad the hardest. He's just not my dad anymore."

"What do you mean? Jax asked, concerned.

"He drinks. To numb the pain, he drinks. He's contantly drunk or passed out."

"Tara..."

"It's fine. I take pretty good care of him...he's my dad, you know." She said, Jax nodding in reply.

"What about your mom? How's she taking things now that your dad's gone."

"She's dating."

"What?"

"Yeah." He shook his head. "Clay. My dad's right hand. I think they had something going before my old man died."

"That's...I'm sorry, Jax."

"Not your fault, darlin'." Jax looked over at the girl he was opening up to. The way her skin lightly glowed against the moonlight, the slight sparkle in her eyes. He felt the overwhelming urge to kiss her. He moved closer to her and took a deep breath.

"Hey, Knowles." He said, causing her to look up. It was then that he caught her lips with his. Soft, gentle and sweet, he kissed her. It was everything he hoped for and more. Tara pushed lightly on his chest, breaking them apart.

"What? What's wrong? Did I do something?"

"You shouldn't have done that." Tara said, her hand flying up to her mouth.

"I wanted to." Jax gave her a small smile.

"Jax...I'm not like those girls."

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"If that's what all this is about then, I'm sorry, but you're wasting your time." She got to her feet. "I'm not gonna sleep with you, Jax. I'm just not. I have to go."

"Tara, wait."

"I'll be fine." She called back. "I'll see you at school."

Jax wanted more than anything to go after her but knew it'd be worse. He knew it was different with Tara, but she didn't. He was going to make sure that she knew.

 **This is really fun to put together. I'm hoping to have a chapter three up soon so check back. Thanks for reading. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay. You guys are seriously amazing. The reaction to this story, all I can say is "WOW!" The support is incredible and the positivity has been overwhelming. I love that you guys are loving this story as I am loving writing it for you. Thank you. Hope you enjoy the new chapter! :)**

 **DISCLAIMER:**  
 **Nothing, absolutely nothing belong to me. Everything is property of Kurt Sutter and FX Network.**

Monday morning was back to business for Tara as she woke up and went throught her typical morning routine to get ready for the day that awaited her. Teeth, shower and clothes. She made her way into the kitchen with wet hair, looking for anything that might pass as a suitable breakfast. She opened the refrigerator and sighed. She'd have to go shopping this afternoon. She grabbed the last granola bar and tossed the box in the garbage.

"Dad, I'm leaving." She said to the figure on the couch. "Dad."

Earning nothing but silence in response, she grabbed her biology notebook and walked out the front door, walking her usual route to Charming High. She opened up to last week's notes and began rereading them as she took a bite of the piece of cardboard masquerading as food. _"Must've been something we bought and forgot about"_ she tried to convince herself. Upon arriving, Tara quickly made a straight line for first period biology, hoping that a certain blonde wouldn't show up. She knew he'd want answers but she wasn't exactly clear on what had happened herself. She knew he had kissed her, but Jax Teller kissed alot of girls so she knew it couldn't mean much if it meant anything at all. He held that look when she walked away, confused and hurt. The more she thought about it, the more her mind became jumbled, so she buried herself in her notes and books and prayed the rest would go away.

"Okay, class. Good morning." Mr. Cooper, greeted. "Due to a unscheduled staff meeting, we are actually gonna have to cancel our class today."

Tara sighed as she thought. _"Really? I got out of bed for this?_

The class cheered as Mr. Cooper interrupted. "I still expect the reading done so we can hit the ground running tomorrow with chapter three."

Tara headed to her locker to dump off the notes and books she no longer needed. She was zipping her bag back up and about to close the door when she heard the sound of someone clearing their throat.

"Tara." And she immediately knew who it was, closing her locker and turning to face him.

"Hey, Jax." She replied.

"How was your weekend?" He tried.

"Uneventful." Awkward silence. "Yours?"

"Worked on a couple bikes with Opie. Trying to get them ready for when we turn 18." She could see the sparkle in his eye as he talked about the bikes.

"Cool." She turned to look at the kids leaving the school like it was Christmas. "I should go."

"Oh, sure." He looked down at the white sneakers he wore everyday. "Look, about what happened at the party-"

Tara snapped back to reality. She wasn't getting out of this.

"Jax, we really don't have to-"

"I'm not sorry I kissed you, but I am sorry if it made you feel bad. I just-"

"I can't be one of those girls. I don't have it in me." She looked down. "I'm just Tara."

"Tara, stop." He grabbed her hand. "Just Tara is enough. I don't want you to be those other girls. I like hanging with _you._ "

She smiled. "I like hanging with you, too."

"So, whatcha got planned for the rest of the day?" Jax smirked. "They're setting us free."

"They are." Tara giggled. "I'm probably gonna go home, study."

"Come on." Jax looked her in the eye. "Let's go somewhere. I got my bike."

"I thought you didn't get that until you turn 18."

"I don't get the good one until then, but this one's still safe, darlin'. I promise." He winked, as Tara pondered the idea. "Come on, Knowles. Be spontaneous for once."

"What the hell...let's go."

 _An hour later..._

It was an interesting ride; exhilerating, free and everything she never expected. They arrived at a large, empty, grassy area. It was quiet, isolated from all the noise and life that Charming held. A little piece of tranquility tucked away in a large stretch of country. She got off Jax's bike, much more graceful than she had gotten on, an walked away, taking in the scenery. She saw a couple boulders, a few large trees, and a tiny pond all surrounded by plush, green grass.

"This is so beautiful." She breathed out, tucking back a piece of hair that the wind blew in her face.

"I come here to think." Jax explained. "A lot here recently. It's been rough. My mom and Clay, I just haven't really wanted to be home to deal with that."

"I get that." Tara told him, taking a seat in the shade of the large oak tree. "I wish I could stay gone sometimes, just get away from it all."

"Is it that bad at home for you?" He sat next to her.

"It can be." She sighed. "Honestly, my dad barely knows what year it is, let alone what he says or does half the time. All the events just kind of blur together into a haze of drunk."

"He's not a dangerous drinker, is he?" Jax was clearly concerned.

Tara shook her head, looking into the distance. "He says things, but that's as far as it goes. I look like my mom and that backfires sometimes. That's all."

Without thinking, he reached up, turning her face to meet his and slowly moved forward.

"Jax..." She looked down quickly before meeting his gaze head on. "What is this? What we're doing, I mean."

"I really like you, Tara."

"But, is it just like a 'let's get in her pants' thing? Because, I mean, I'm not like those bimbos who hang all over you and tell you how amazing you are just to get some-"

"Tara. Tara." He stopped her, laughing a little. "I don't want to just have sex. Do you think I'd bring you here if I did? I've never brought anyone here."

"Really?"

"Not even, Ope." Jax looked at her deeply. "I'm just askin' for a shot here, babe. I know you feel this."

"I do." Tara replied. "I just...I'm already as broken as you can get without being dead. I don't want to get hurt when you decide you're over me."

"Not gonna happen." He took a risk and leaned in, catching her lips and kissing her. Tender but deep, he held the kiss for a while before gently releasing.

"When you do that I can't think." Tara blushed.

Jax smirked, brushing the hair out of her face. "You're not supposed to."

Tara laughed. "You know, it's been awhile since I've done this. Just relaxing, it feels great."

"Here." Jax laid back, offering his abdomen as a makeshift pillow for Tara, who laid on top of him.

"Do you ever wonder if they're out there?" Tara asked, snapping him from his thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"My mom and your dad. Do you ever wonder if they're out there?"

"I think about it sometimes." He confessed. "Like what my dad might think if he saw me now."

"Yeah?" She turned on her side to look at him.

"Yeah. What about you?"

"I think she's aware, somewhere, somehow of what I'm doing. I just want to make her proud." She picked at a blade of grass.

"Hey." Jax said, causing her to look at him. "She's proud. She has a beautiful, talented and amazing daughter."

"Thanks." Tara smiled, but quickly the smile fell. "What time is it?"

Jax looked at his watch. "Almost noon."

"Shit." She got up quickly. "I gotta go to the store and buy some food. If my dad doesn't eat then there's no telling what I'm walking into when I get home."

"Let's go to the store." He said, helping her up and walking to the bike.

"You don't have to go shopping with me, Jax."

"Shh...just get on the bike, Knowles." He winked.

When they arrived at the store, Tara grabbed a shopping cart, Jax close behind, and began busily scouring the aisles for the essentials. Shopping on a budget was something she felt like she had become a professional at.

"Bread, check." She said, tossing a loaf into the basket.

"Pop Tarts." Jax said, grabbing a box.

"Uh, I'm sorry, I didn't win the lottery this week." She said with a giggle. "Just the essentials, Teller."

"Pop Tarts _are_ essential, Tara." He put them in the cart. "What kind of world are you living in?"

"I can't afford them."

"I got it, babe." He kissed the side of her head. "Just pick out what you want and don't worry about it."

"What are you? A Rockefeller?" Tara playfully placed a hand on her hip.

"I've been working after school at the garage. I got some extra cash and I don't mind helping out." He told her.

"Oh really?" She asked as she placed some bananas in the basket.

"Gotta make sure my girl eats." Jax said, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

"Am I your girl now?" She said, turning to face him.

"Is that okay?" Jax asked, seriously.

"If I'm the only one." She looked down. "This is the real deal for me, Jax. If you're wanting to be with me, then it has to me just me."

"Just you, babe. I promise." He stepped back and held his right hand up. "No one else."

"Okay." She sighed. "Then I guess I'm your girl."

Jax winked. "Good. Now, how about some frozen pizza?"

Tara laughed. "No. Just the necessities."

 **I had a lot of fun with this one. The shopping scene was fun for me. I felt like Tara would be incredibly reluctant to accept Jax's feelings at first with how much her dad has hurt her with his addiction and Jax has just always had that personality of going after what he wants and not stopping. She's opening up though. She feels what Jax feels, she's just more shy about saying it, given his reputation. If you're enjoying, please let me know. Thanks in advance! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**You guys are incredible! The response to this story has been insane and all the reviews just make me wanna get to work that much faster, so here I am, writing the next chapter because I love how much you guys are loving this story. I'm gonna do a bit of a time jump here so we can get to lovey, dovey goodness. For those of you saying, "no angst and they're so happy", just wait for it. This is based on Sons of Anarchy after all. ENJOY!**

 **DISCLAIMER:**  
 **Nothing is my own, all names belong to Kurt Sutter and FX Network.**

It had been three months since Jax Teller had officially asked Tara Knowles to be his girlfriend and, in his opinion, things couldn't have been going better. He spent almost all of his free time with Tara. When he wasn't at school with her, he was with her at the park or sneaking into her bedroom window to sleep over, only to sneak back out before dawn so Gemma wouldn't kill him. He wasn't sure if what he was feeling was love but it sure felt like it. He needed to be with her all the time and she was constantly on his mind. It was Saturday night and Jax was dialing his best friend from the home phone.

"Hey, Ope." Jax greeted.

"What's up, man?"

"I need you to do something for me."

"Uh oh." Opie replied. "Does this involve a certain brunette that you've become obsessed with?"

"Don't talk about my girl like that." Jax said.

"You just love calling her that." He chuckled. "What do you need?"

"If Gemma calls, tell her I'm spending the night at Piney's cabin with you."

"Going to spend some quality time with Tara?" He asked.

"I just want to be able to spend the whole night with her, not having to get up at 4:00am." Jax explained.

"Okay." Opie agreed. "I got you brother."

"Thanks, man."

With that, Jax grabbed the bag he had already packed, already counting on Opie's cooperation and headed to the door.

"And just where exactly do you think it is you're going?" Gemma stopped him at the door.

"Going up to the cabin with Ope for the weekend. I'll be back Sunday night." He turned his back.

"Jackson!" She called. "Clay planned this dinner for us and he wants you here."

"Haven't you heard what they say, Ma?" Gemma looked at him confused. "You can't always get what you want."

"Damn it, Jackson." Gemma muttered, more to herself as Jax slammed the door behind him.

Things had been rough at the Teller home or the Teller-Morrow home now. Gemma had quickly become engaged to Clay Morrow and tied the knot before the engagement had time to really sink in. Jax, of course, looked at it as some form of disrespect; snubbing and spitting on the name and memory of John Teller. Tara had been his rock though. She sat through the ceremony with him, ditched the reception with him when he just couldn't take it anymore and did an amazing job of just listening as he ranted and vented about how unfair the world was and how none of this was right or made any sense. He continued spending time with her to the point where being away from her for any length of time made him feel like he was dying inside.

He made his way around the side of the Knowles' home and to Tara's bedroom window, which happened to be already be open. He tossed his bag inside and then lifted himself through the window, closing and locking it behind him. As he did so, Tara walked in wearing a bathrobe, brushing out her wet hair and singing a song.

"Cause I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-what are you doing here?" She panicked, practically slamming her door closed.

Jax chuckled as he plopped on her bed, laying back with his arms behind his head. "Oh, don't stop the show on my account, babe."

"Shut up. You usually don't get here until after 10:00. It's only 7:30." She pointed out.

"Thought I'd drop by early. Hey, why was your window open?" He asked.

"I don't know. I guess I forgot to close it." She shrugged.

"Babe, don't do shit like that." Jax begged. "I need to make sure you're safe."

"We're in _Charming._ " Tara reasoned. "Nothing ever happens in Charming."

If only she knew. "Just lock the window." He said, sternly.

"Yes, sir." She playfully saluted. "So why are you here so early, Mr. Teller?"

"I just wanted more time with you. Come here." He gestured to the empty spot next to him.

"I have to get dressed."

"Okay."

Tara made a spinning gesture with her finger, indicating that she wanted Jax to turn around. He sighed as he caved, covering his eyes. This was new to Jax, the modesty and boundaries. With the last few girls he was with, they were perfectly okay just to strip down, take care of business and be on their way. It was something that Jax wasn't used to but it was part of what he liked about Tara. She enforced those boundaries and refused to give everything away so easy. She thought more of herself and Jax thought more of her too. After changing into a pair of boxer shorts and an old Nirvana tee, Tara laid with Jax, her head resting on his chest as he held her hand in his.

"I missed you." He whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"I missed you." She let out a small laugh. "Gemma's going to kill you...or me...or both of us."

"Nah. Don't worry about her, babe. She's mostly bark and very little bite."

"Where does she think you are?"

"The cabin with Ope."

"Jax." Tara sighed. "I really don't want you getting in trouble."

"Shhh..." He began stroking her hair, a gesture he had learned recently, soothed her. "Just be here with me."

Tara looked up and met Jax's deep blue eyes. Before she could process what was happening, their lips were locked like a magnetic force. Deep, passionate and heated. Jax rolled over so that he was on top of Tara, only breaking the kiss to occassionally suck on the spot where her neck met her shoulder. It drove her crazy. Both were desperate for air, but couldn't bear the thought of breaking away from the heated exchange to inhale a breath. She felt Jax's hand exploring her exposed thigh. His hands on her skin were making her nerve endings fire.

"Jax..." Tara tried but immediately was silenced by his mouth. His hand was now under her shirt and around the back.

"Jax...wait." She was hushed again.

"It's okay." He consoled her. "I promise."

"Jax...Jax." His fingers unhooked her bra clasp in record time, she knew he'd had tons of practice.

"Wait!" Tara said loudly, pushing Jax off and jumping off the bed.

"What's wrong?" Jax looked extremely confused.

"I can't do this." She sighed, catching her breath.

"Tara..."

"You didn't think that this was how this was going to go did you?" She was clearly upset. "Having sex with you with my drunk father in the next room?! I deserved more than that for my first..."

Tara's eyes widened when she realized what she had said. "...time."

They had never made it a point to talk about sex. They'd made out. They'd made out plenty of times but that was as far as it went. She knew Jax was experienced but she'd never come right out and told him that she was a virgin.

"Ah, shit." Jax mentally kicked himself. "You're a virgin. Babe...I...I didn't know."

"We never talked about it and it's not really something that I brag about."

"I'm sorry." He pushed his messy blonde hair back and walked over to where she was standing. "I won't do anything until you're ready."

Tara nodded. "I'm afraid."

"I'm not gonna hurt you, Tara." He looked her in the eye. "This thing I feel for you...it's crazy. Like 'I gotta be with you every second or I'm gonna kill myself' kinda crazy."

"I feel the same, Jax. I just..."

"What? Babe, talk to me."

"Sex is a huge step." Tara tried to explain. "It's scary enough the idea of being naked in front of you and then you add in the girls that you're used to being with and I pretty much feel like I should walk around in a turtleneck."

"Babe...do you seriously think I wouldn't want you?" Jax looked at her like she had two heads. "You have no idea what you do to me, Tara."

"Jax..."

"You're perfect to me, babe." He winked at her. "And I'll wait for you, okay?"

"What if-"

"I'll wait for you, okay?" He repeated.

"Okay." She whispered, making her way back to the bed. "Sooo...want to watch a movie with me?"

"I'd love to, babe." Jax laid back down, positioning himself to hold Tara as she hit the button. "Pretty Woman again?"

"I love this movie." She defended.

"Okay." Jax laughed, tightening his hold on her. "But you don't need Richard Gere, darlin'."

"Oh no?"

"Nope. You've got Jackson Teller." He winked.

"Oh!" Tara laughed. "The size of your ego."

He laughed with her, stroking the side of her arm with his hand.

"Hey, Jax?" Tara said, very carefully.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

He smiled down at her, kissing her nose. "I love you, too, Tara."

The pair kissed deep and long before settling back into the movie. About halfway through, they had passed out, Jax holding onto Tara tightly as if he'd never let go. Deep down, he knew that this was his forever.

 **I hope that you guys don't mind the small time jump. I just wanted to give the story some momentum and also a small taste of Gemma. This story has been so much fun so far and I'm still unsure of whether I will do an AU HEA or not. Still deciding. In the meantime, enjoy and review, because I love reading them! Thanks! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**The reaction to this story is amazing and it makes me just want to keep working on it. I'm just as excited to see what will happen to these two as you are so I hope you guys don't mind the quick updates. Enjoy! :)**

 **DISCLAIMER:**  
 **The characters and names used in this story belong to Kurt Sutter and FX Network.**

Jax slowly woke to sunlight streaming in through the window. He slowly blinked his eyes open, stretching and taking in his surroundings. He had awoken in Tara's room so many times lately that it really wasn't an adjustment for him anymore. Only one thing was missing this time. He reached his arm out beside him, taking in the coldness of the sheets where the empty spot next to him was. Where was she? Jax told himself to remain calm. It was her house. Surely she'd have to come back at some point. He sighed and ran his hand through his messy, blonde hair. Just as he reached for his cigarettes, the bedroom door opened, revealing Tara in her tshirt and shorts from the previous night.

"Well, good morning, sunshine." She smiled.

"Good morning." He tossed the cigarettes aside and held the blanket back as Tara climbed back into the bed, settling in the space between Jax's arm and chest. "Where'd you go?"

"Just to the bathroom. I woke up a while ago." She was tracing circles on his chest with her fingers.

"And you didn't wake me?"

"You were so peaceful." She chuckled. "I wanted to let you sleep. I figured with everything going on at home and how often you're here, you don't really sleep much."

"Don't worry about me, Tara."

"It's kind of my job." She kissed his cheek. "As the girlfriend, it is my job to look out for my boyfriend."

Jax laughed out loud, but he loved hearing her call him that.

"When do you have to be home?" Tara asked, carefully.

"When I feel like it."

"Jax..."

"I'm serious. I told my mom I'd be back later tonight, but honestly, it depends on whether or not I want to go back." He explained.

"You've got to face the music at some point." Tara reasoned.

"I don't want to deal with them right now, babe."

Tara pulled away, sitting up to face him. "I understand that, but I just thought that if you guys could sit down and really talk about everything, then maybe you could-"

Jax interrupted her. "I don't want to deal with it, Tara! I don't want to talk to them, I don't want to see them. Can you please just stay the hell out of it?! Damn!"

Tara looked at Jax like something had possessed him. "I'm going to go grab the paper and make some coffee."

"Tara-"

Before he could fix it, she was gone. He was really getting good at this; being a complete and total asshole to the one person who didn't deserve it. This new marriage was a really difficult pill for Jax to swallow. Everytime he thought about it for too long, he could feel the anger boiling in stomach and before he knew it, he was lashing out. At Opie, at Clay, at Gemma and now, Tara. He sighed and stared at the ceiling. This wasn't him. He knew this and it had to stop.

Tara came back into the bedroom, fully dressed and pulling a brush through her silky hair.

"Where're you going?" Jax asked.

"I have to run a couple errands, stuff for my dad." She said, not turning around.

"I thought we were going to have the day together." He was genuinely disappointed.

"I'm sorry." Tara replied, flatly. "I've got to go. My dad's gone so you can use the front door."

Just as quickly as she had come into the room, she had grabbed her bag and she was gone. Jax mentally kicked himself.

Tara walked to the cemetary and took the spot next to her mother's headstone. She hated that she hadn't been getting to go there as often. With school, homework, her dad and now, never wanting to be away from Jax, it was tough to get a free moment. She knew it was no one's fault but her own and she knew it was no excuse.

"Hey, Momma." She whispered, dusting the leaves of the solid stone and laying the flowers she had bought at the market. "I splurged today. Roses. I thought you deserved them. Dad's still getting by but he misses you like crazy. I try to bring back things that remind us of the good times with you, but sometimes it's almost like it makes it worse."

A small breeze rolled through. Tara wasn't a spiritual or religious person, but somehow, she took it as a sign.

"I met someone. A boy...you remember Jax Teller. You used to say he was hell on wheels wrapped in a pretty boy package. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him, but he's got all this stuff going on with his family. He's so angry at them all the time and I don't know what I can do to help ease it. I try to talk to him but it's like he just won't let me in." Tara looked up at the grey clouds rolling in. "I'll be back later this week, Mom. I love you."

Jax walked into the seemingly empty house and dropped his bag on the kitchen floor, sauntering into the living room and dropping his exhausted body on the couch. He slept like a baby but snapping at Tara made him uneasy in a way he hated.

"I thought you'd be home tonight." Gemma stated as she emerged from the bedroom, securing her robe.

"Well, I'm here now." He snapped.

Gemma rolled her eyes. "Look, I know you hate me right now and I know you hate Clay. Damn it, this attitude has to stop, Jackson. I am your goddamn mother!"

"Who the hell are you talking to?!" Jax snapped. "Where's your loyalty? To Dad...to me?!"

"You think I betrayed you." Gemma stated.

"You're in there fucking Dad's best friend, so yeah, betrayal is a good fit."

"Jackson." She said calmly, walking around to sit with him on the couch. "I'm sorry if my moving on makes you feel like I've somehow pissed on your father's memory, but I need to be happy."

"I know." He shook his head. "But Clay?"

"Is a good man." She took his hand. "I promise you, Jax. I would not have made this move, this decision, if I didn't think that it was the right thing for both of us. You just have to trust me sweetheart."

Jax sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, baby." She whispered. "You want some waffles."

"No." He stood up. "I got something I've got to do."

"You're going to see _her_ again, aren't you?"

"Mom..."

"That's where you were last night, wasn't it?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I'll be back in time for dinner." He grabbed his coat and left.

"Just like your father." She scoffed.

Tara sprinted through the pouring rain, trying her best to make it to the safe haven of her room. She bolted inside the house and shook out her coat, taking it off and hanging it next to the door.

"Dad?" She called out, knowing he was probably still gone. The Cutlass wasn't in the driveway.

She closed her bedroom door and began removing her wet clothes one at a time.

"I feel like the gentlemanly thing to do is to let you know I'm in here before you go too far."

Tara shrieked, covering herself with her bedspread. "I thought you went home!"

"I did." Jax replied. "Tara, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've been so angry and taking it out on you. You're the last person to blame."

"I just wanted to help."

"I know and I love you for that. I do." He was standing in front of her, pulling her toward him. "I just sometimes have to figure things out on my own."

"So what happened?" Tara asked.

"Gemma." He laughed. "So where were you? Why are you soaked?"

"I went to see my mom and the downpour started before I could get back."

"You look good wet." He winked.

Tara playfully swatted his arm. "You're just full of class, Teller. Now, turn around so I can get some clothes on."

"Or you could stay like that?" Jax hinted, as he turned around.

"What? No way." Tara laughed. "Nice try though."

"I'd be stupid not to try. You're beautiful."

"Jax..."

He turned back around, finding Tara in a SAMCRO tshirt he'd left behind weeks ago. Her legs looked soft but porcelain and it was all of Jax's self-control to keep from reaching out and touching them. Her hair, even a soaked mess, framed her face perfectly.

"Oh..." Jax momentarily forgot his words.

Tara looked down self-conciously. "I'm sorry. Did you want it back? I just found it in the laundry and I-"

Before she could finish, Jax's lips were on hers and heat filled her body. Lifting her up and placing her down lightly on the bed, Jax continued his assault on her mouth, barely allowing for spare breaths. As he moved down to Tara's neck, he heard her speak.

"I guess it's okay I kept it, then." She laughed.

"Don't ever give me that shirt back." He stared into her eyes. Just something about seeing her in his tshirt, wearing the SAMCRO name, made him want her more than ever.

"Jax..."

"Yeah, babe?"

"I think I want to." She trembled but nodded her head, knowing that he knew exactly what she was hinting at.

"Tara, are you sure?" He whispered.

"Tomorrow? Probably not." Tara smiled. "But here, in this moment, I want to do this and I want to do this with you. I'm sure."

"Are you nervous?" He asked, very careful to proceed.

"Not about you. Just the pain." Tara moved her shaky hands to push his hair out of his eyes as he laid on top of her.

"We don't have to."

"I want to." She nodded. "I want this. I want you."

Jax gently lifted her up, helping her peel the SAMCRO shirt from her body, leaving Jax completely speechless.

"You're perfect." He whispered, kissing her softly, as if he could break her at any moment.

"I love you, Jax."

"I love you, too, Tara."

 **There it is! I really thought about how I wanted the losing of Tara's virginity to take place and I made the choice to only write the acts leading up to it. I felt the choice of leaving out the actual "lovemaking" left it more open for you guys to add your own interpretations to it. I can't wait to start on Chapter 6! Thanks again for all of the support! You guys rock my socks! XOXO**


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